May 28, 2012

Two Zero One Two: "Busted."

There are people that always leave  every year. Last year it was Laura, and Shelbie, and Jason, and Jake, and Mallory, and Hannah. I miss them with every piece of my existence, but Shelbie is still here, and Laura might even still love me. I'll hear from Jason soon, and I'm better off missing Jake. But as each person leaves, someone else shows up to fill their void for a little bit, and to show me that it's okay to miss someone; leaving doesn't always mean forever.

I'm going to miss the way Benjamin made everything okay in a matter of minutes. Who am I supposed to watch my mental illness movies with now? (My heart is pounding.) I'm going to miss Kristen's way of making us all feel young and the way she doesn't ever share. Who is going to tell me that I'm a beautiful fiend every day? (My heart says thank you.) I'm going to miss the way I don't get along with Davis very often, and the minuscule times we just... did. Who's going to beg me to tickle their back these days? (My heart is okay.) I'm going to miss the way Krista and Mary were not once ever apart and how they sheltered me as their own to start with. Who's going to shake my hand? (My heart is smiling.) I'm going to miss Amy's tiny body and her confidence in me. Who is everyone going to love now? 

I'm not saying goodbye to Eliza yet because I know she isn't leaving me. 

I'm going to miss these people because they became like family to me, and they were people I've never had before. I learned that I can be loved despite my flaws. It may not be easy, and actually it wasn't easy at all, but it worked. They showed me what it was like to keep going.

I know what you're thinking. Actually, sorry, I'm not going to analyze you I actually don't know what you're thinking, but I think I know people. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I know you don't think it's my place, or that I have the right to be here, or to love these people. But, hey, I do. I love these people more than anything else in the world. I'm new, but no matter what you say, God put me here for a specific reason, and I'm here ready to go. Ready as ever. Take me as I am; emotional and over analytical and maybe even a little bit crazy (don't worry, babe, I take pills for that).

Benjamin, I love you.
Kristen, I love you.
Mary, Krista, I love you.
Davis, I love you.
Eliza, I love you.

Keep going. You'll change the world. I'll miss you.

Remember me.


1 comment:

That One Redhead said...

Your writing is absolutely beautiful.
I really do like it.
You're also kinda one of my idols, and I think you're really gorgeous.
Thankyou for being you; it's good.