Goosebumps, and Grey Skies

You frustrate me, did you know that? I want your eyes to light up in mine and I want to be okay by you. I love you, though, and I know that it'll all be okay soon, Mr. Cheshire. (I just have to look past it.)

You overwhelm me, sir, so just let me breathe on my own sometimes, alright?

Here's the thing, I'm so happy right now that I'm getting goosebumps as I write this. UCLA feels so good, and Alice feels so good, and Christ is letting everything fall into place. Things are changing and moving and I'm learning. You want to know the truth about what I'm learning do you? I'm not learning from my class curriculum, or even from homework. I'm learning from my teachers, and from the people, and from the struggle.

I'm so happy right now, and it's hard to write anything other. Days get heavy, but my boots are usually light.

I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but for now it looks pretty darn right.

enduringly, morgan.

The Boat Harbor and Mismatched Eye Color

I'm breathing slowly and gripping to the future because the past is cutting through my palms. I want to hold on to the next year as if it were my last. I want to cry my insides dry.

I'm going to save the world one day; I really am. I have to continue to tell myself that because if I do, it will happen. It has to. Saving the world would probably be easier than saving myself these days. Im full of unpoetic vague blog posts and surrounded by people that probably don't love me as much as I love them. I'm covered in grey dots; not gold stars. I'm crossing my arms and bowing my head now because for so many days I forgot how to do that. I'm swallowing three instead of one. I'm pretending that I'm perfect when really, my blood pressure is irregular. All in all, I think my soul is begging my body for some sunshine and my spirit is begging to be free.

I forgive you, darling. I'm sorry, but don't let go completely. Please.