August 11, 2012

Overdue Eviction Notice

This isn't poetic, or full of metaphors, or even very beautiful. It's honest though. (Which I think makes it pretty beautiful.)

Here's what I don't know: whether or not you'll be reading this. Which makes it just a little bit harder to write. (Because I don't know how you'll take any of it.) You're tentative, I know. I've had about three people tell me that now. But I think that's what I like most right now. 

Here's the thing. I've finally decided that I don't care what I say because, I mean, you should know, probably. You're really good at making me worry, but not really in a bad way.

I like the little things, like the way you kiss the yellow lights and drive while you hold my hand. I like the way my forehead gets touched by your lips a lot and I love when you turn our show on when we cuddle.

We argue sometimes, but only about dumb things or because neither of us will make a decision. Sure, I want you to get mad at Josh (or at me because of Josh) sometimes, but I know you just don't want to be mean. I get jealous of Tyler a lot, but we'll talk about that later.

Here's to lunches, and dates, and never not smelling like chlorine. Here's to our best friends at the pool. 

We can see the stars tonight. Remember that? I wished you didn't have to go running that night. You told me once that you didn't want me to go and said, "Can't you just be a little bit late?" The world is smaller than what that meant to me.

I like when you let go of your worries and just say the things that are on your mind. I think you have a hard time opening up, and that's why it only happens sometimes.

I get afraid that you're going to run away because sometimes I need you, and sometimes I want to be needed by you, but I don't know of that's okay with you. If it is, hold one eye open and close the other.

Here's to your art, and your handwriting. 

I hope that what I said on your birthday didn't bother you. I know I like you more than you like me, but for now, that's okay. I think I handle it pretty well. I like how you always asked me to come with you places because those places needed both of us--I think.

We're funny, and we're good looking and we could probably rule the world, one boba at a time.

You're a really good teacher, and you just want to make people happy. You aren't afraid of your sarcasm but I think you're a little bit afraid of disappointing the ones you care about most. You're independent, really independent. You'll be there when I get injured because of birds. It'll happen, darling, and you'll be there. You're smart enough to know what you want, but also your mind is open to what may be placed in front of you to try. Maybe like me? I know you don't like surprises, but I think I was a little bit of one.

Keep smelling good and being concerned about what you're wearing. Thanks for liking me even though I was awkward at first.

I love your family and that you share them with me. I love Tyler and Shelly, and Patty, too. (probably not as much as you do, but you know.) I love the days we didn't leave each others sides and the day my fingers were in between yours all day. I like that sometimes I bother you because then I know it's real. That's such a cliche thing to say, but that word just wears me out. I love the amount of time we spent with Rachel and I love when you grab me from behind. I love the amount of movies we have watched. (Thanks Shelly.)

Here's to shopping, and car rides, and Tex, and laughing and cat stretching. Here's to the amount of time we've spent in your living room and the amount of money we've spent of frozen yogurt. Here's to hoping this wasn't too much for you to take in. Here's to these last seven days.

"Up yours." because "Wow bud, that's really cool."

1 comment:

That One Redhead said...

I wanna meet this boy.
Please call me up sometime with all the details of this perfect love story you call life.